It's the Fourth of July

Today is a good day. It being the Fourth of July is really only secondary to what today is all about. Today is the day where we're no longer in weeks, and the countdown can only be done in days, hours, minutes and seconds. Just thinking about my trip next week to Manchester Airport, waiting at the gate for her to arrive, sends butterflies in my stomach. There really is no other feeling. I don't know how I did what I did 10 years ago. But that's in the past, and I can't change that. But I can appreciate what I have now. And it's great. I hope I haven't let her down, I've tried to be there in other ways, less unconventional I suppose you could say. Sometimes I'm surprised at how we've made it through and how strong we are. Everyday I'm surprised at how she never gave up on me. Maggie's 15 years old now, going on 25, has been for the last few years. I've tried to protect her from what I did, tried to make it sound not as bad as it was. But it was bad. I've had to accept that I made some bad choices, and I've had to live with those and make the most of them. Regrets? We all have them. Would I go back and change things? I might do things differently, but I don't know how much I could have actually changed things. It was a bad place for me, 10 years ago. Today is a much brighter one. I have two wonderful kids and two great stepsons. I have a husband who, I'm sure, in his own quirky way, loves me, as much as I love him. I have a cute dog. I have a fantastic job doing what I've always wanted to do. I have a hobby. And I have my life. So, if I could go back and change things, would I still have all this now? Probably not. But I'll still always be full of regret over the pain I put her through. But she's a tough nut. She pulled herself up by the bootstraps and carried on. Her and I, we're the same breed. We're always ok. As long as we've got each other.

See you on Tuesday, Magpie.